Showing posts with label bloopers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bloopers. Show all posts

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The 10 Conyo Commandments


by Gerard Gabriel Siazon Tayamen

1. Thou shall make gamit “make+pandiwa”.

ex. “Let’s make pasok na to our class!” “Wait lang! I’m making kain pa!” “Come on na, we can’t make hintay anymore! It’s in Andrew pa, you know?”

2. Thou shall make kalat “noh”, “diba” and “eh” in your pangungusap.

ex. “I don’t like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it’s like, so eew, diba?” “What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?” “Eh as if you want naman also, diba?”

3. When making describe a whatever, always say “It’s SO pang-uri!”

ex. “It’s so malaki, you know, and so mainit!” “I know right? So sarap nga, eh!” “You’re making me inggit naman.. I’ll make bili nga my own burger.”

4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation “dude”, ‘tsong” or “pare”

ex. “Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare.” “I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh”

5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!

ex. “My bag is so bigat today, you know” “I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book eh!”

6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish.

ex. “I have so many tigyawats, oh!”

7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right?

ex. “Like, it’s so init naman!” “Yah! The aircon, it’s, like sira!”

8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?

ex. “Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?” “It’s so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?”

9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know, daglat?”

ex. “Like, OMG! It’s like traffic sa LRT” “I know right? It’s so kaka!” “Kaka?” “Kakaasar!”

10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!

ex. “I’m, like, making aral at the Arrhneo!” “Me naman, I’m from Lazzahl!”


from Pinoy Exchange - Buhay Pinoy thread

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Blind Items

December 16-17

May taong medyo depress mood at nag send ng spam sa outlook na "Guys! malungkot ako...pasayahin nyo naman ako"
Dahil dun..nagkaroong biglaang lakad na nauwi sa Fairview...
Matapos ang konting inuman naglabas na ng sama ng loob ang taong itago natin sa pangalang "Ms. Dumsel in Distress" at nag share ng lahat na ata ng hinanakit nya sa mundo...at pagkalipas ng ilang minuto...

eto na po sya...



Sino ang babaeng toh??? (hehehehe)




Pagkatapos ng ilang oras na kwentuhan, kantahan at lakaran....umuwi na kami at nagdesisyon matulog sa isang bahay ng sasama sama....sa bus magkatabi po ang dalawang ito...

At paglingon namin ang sweet nilang natutulog.....
Zino zila???





Paki hulog na lang sa drop box ng ERP ang inyong mga hula....hehehehehe

Friday, November 21, 2008

Para sa Ikatutuwa ng lahat....lalo na ni jham

Dahil ni tag ako ni jham sa blog nya (maraming salamat gerl...di mo pa din ako nililimot...) eto ang aking share....

sana may makuha kayong bago about me, roge and kyut (hehehe)


Here are the rules:

1. Each blogger must post these rules.
2. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged, need to write ten facts about themselves. You need to choose ten people to tag and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and also to read your blog.



10 random facts about roge_kyut
(bawal kumontra..blog ko toh!)..

1. Pinoy Exchange addict (though 2 lang ata yung forum dun na talagang active ako..di pwedeng di ko yung ma check at makapg post)
2. Text Addik..kahit na ata tulog ako at naramdam ko may nag text at may load ako kahit yung isang mata ko nakapikit mag re reply ako! (tested and proven yan..)
3. Hyper ako lalo na sa gabi at tulog na tulog ako sa umaga
4. I love watching sad love story (lalo na yung may sad ending)
5. Gusto ko yung story ni Cinderella (halata pa sa layout ng friendster profile ko?)
6. Wala ko sense of direction meaning..madali akong maligaw!

7. I really hate dancing
9. Loveless ako..
10. at ang pinaka importante...BABAE PO AKO...hehehehe



NOW....

I'm giving this award to......

edz, greicia, sheila, cy, rizza(sana active pa din and taong to), tere, shammy, tentay, jham (ulit..wala na eh), and eiffel

Friday, July 11, 2008

ang malikhaing pag iisip ni Mia

Dahil siguro walang magawa si mia
ayun..pinag katuwaan ang mga pictures namin

gusto mo makita eto oh click nyo to web.com agents

hanapin nyo ko....

enjoy viewing!!!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

funny store names

got these somewhere along the web....have fun!

Chilling Me Softly - Market Makrket

aristocart - a kariton of food in UP

bahay hepa - sa UP din

bread pitt - a bakery somewhere

candy rogers, kina roger's - carinderias

chicago balls - tindahan ng fish, squid,at shrimp balls

food ng ina mo - carinderia

food ng ina mo rin - it's annex

tapsiturbi - tapa sinangag turon bibingka

Galit Galit Muna-eatery near MalacaƱang

Curl Up and Dye-parlor

Caintacky Fried Chicken- in Cainta, Rizal

Alibaka- a restaurant

Petal Attraction-A flower shop sign near U.P. Diliman

Mastervision-video rental shop

Felix the Cut - Barber Shop

Meating Place - Meat Shop

The Way We Wear - Boutique

A menu in a seafood restaurant has these entrees:Isda best, Pusit to the limit, and Hipon coming back

Al Khantoot - A well-known flowershop in Dubai

Jurassic Beauty Parlor-parlor in ParaƱaque

Peter Fan- electric fan repair shop

Le Tsing tea house (sounds like "letcheng tea house") - Greenhills

ENG BEE TIN - delicious hopia store and more in binondo (pwedeng expression no?)

PINOY BIG BURGER: kasikatan ng pinoy big brother nang itinayo. with matching cameras pa habang lumalamon ka

Great Tess - coffee shop

Glenn 45 - coffee shop din

Cafe Turo - coffee shop kung san ka pwedeng pumili ng kahit anung klase ng kape

Summa Cum Laundry-laundry shop

PAPA-Laba - laundry service

Shoes Ko Po! - shoe repair shop along Kalayaan Ave. in QC

Kosh Kosh Ayosh (with matching Osh Kosh font) - laundry shop near UP

Goto Heaven - Gotohan in Philcoa

FART gallery = shortcut ng fashion+art gallery

Friday, July 4, 2008

bloopers c/o call center agents sa Pinoy Exchange

we need some laugh!!!
here are some bloopers that I gathered in pinoy exchange..natawa ako eh...gusto ko lang i share...



Tech: Thank you for callin'.... (cust butts in irrately)
Cust: Why my keyboard is not arrange in alphabetical order?!


*****************************


agent: blah blah blah, discussing something to d customer..then he turned the mute on, and shouted to his TL, "uhmm, help me po, nosebleed"
TL: okay, pasa mo na..agent: no, nosebleed po ako, nagdudugo talaga ung ilong ko..

literal talaga..

*******************************

Agent: Im sorry ma'am but im not pulling up a listing for that exact match in my database. Not even for the address.
Caller : Can u give me credit for this call?
Agent: (checking service provider id) im sorry ma'am but youre using a payphone. I cant give u credit for this call
Caller: I paid a goddamn dollar and fifty for this call! I want it back! Agent: Well I cant make the coin go out of the phone ma'am.
Caller : I want my dollar and fifty!!!!
Agent: (exasperated) Please hold for the coin.

******************************

cx: Can I talk to your supervisor?!
agent: ok, but are you willing to wait for 30 minutes?
cx: why?!
agent: I'm crippled. I'm going to crawl to my supervisor.
cx: oh nevermind.

****************************

Ako narinig ko lang yung isang agent dito sabi sa cutomer "Thank you for calling ma'am. I hope you enjoy the rest of your days."
Made-dead na ba ang customer?

*****************************

ring ring...
csr: thank you for calling (branding) blah blah.. this is blah blah..
client : Filipino ka?
csr: opo maraming salamat sa pag tawag sa blah blah.. maaari po bang makuha ang inyong pangalan?


ayun bagsak sa QA!!


******************************

Agent: Okay sir may I please have your email address?
Cust: thats
dmuj32@financial-pathways.com (take note on the hyphen)Agent: Hmmm okay so thats dmuj32 am i right?
Cust: yes.
Agents: Sir Im pretty sure I know how to spell at financial (@financial) but can you please spell hyphen for me?
Cust: Ahhhmmmm.. Im sorry? did you say spell hyphen?Agent: yes sir! (with full confidence)
Cust: you want me to spell a hyphen?.... (silence) you want me to spell a hyphen?Agent: that's right..
Cust: You want me to spell a hyphen.. hmmm you want me to spell a dash?
Agent: Oh so sir, its not a hyphen its a dash so that's D-a-s-h am i correct?

******************************

agent: thank u for calling ---------...cx: (irate and shouting)
agent: sir pls dont shout at me.. im not SHOUTABLE!

****************************

cust: I want to talk to a manager!
rep: Well I happen to be a manager.
cust: If you're a manager then why are you taking calls?
rep: I'm the manager of this workstation, sir.

******************************

cust calling on how to setup VoIP.. (issue is unsupported.. BEYOND OUR SCOPE OF SUPPORT-- we are supporting DSL ISP Acct)
cust: are you familiar with lingo VOIP setting? ive been trying to connect this and hopefully contact my relatives and family from other country.
me: ohh lingo? you mean like sunday? (i intentionally did it coz ive got his feeling that the cust is pinoy! basing from his accent)
cust: so you are a filipina? ahah!
me: i just giggled.. hahaha!
cust: (speaking in tagalog) lam mo balak ko magtayo ng callcenter sa pinas.. kaya ko pinagaaralan etong VOIP, pag nagsetup ako kukunin kita ha...


******************************

comment on one of the csat surveys...stop opening call centers in the philipins! those philipians do not know how to speak english...

Thursday, April 24, 2008

natuwa ako dito.....

mula sa malikhaing isip ni Jamina Lorenza Paqcuiao....





JEFF - the irate agent
JHAM - jhaaaaammm
SHERWIN - Agent Rakista
IAN - chickboy
STAN - Mr. Suave
EIFFEL - April?Eisfel?
TENTAY - Ms. QA
MIA - The early bird
GRACEE - Ms. Bullet
LAWRENCE - Woi
EDEN - Soprano Star
GRACIA - wala akong maisip sorry!
RIZZA - That's R-I-Z-Z-A
ANNE - Apol Pie
SUNDAY - Brenda
THERESA - Ms. Top Agent
ROGE - The crying Agent
CINDY - Hot Momma
EDER - The negosyante (brownies? anyone?) :)
JENNY - Baby girl
MACE - Wafu
SIR JR - kalbo
SIR REY - Steroid boy
KLING - Buntis
MARVIN - Buntis den?
JM - Manong Break!
NADJ - Ms. RA

hahahahaha.....saya!


ang ganda...ng likod ---------- with r-i-z-z-a


--- ladies in the round table.... ---
---with Anne--- ---with Eder---